? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
