he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
