last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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