How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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