I need help removing her.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize