I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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