We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
