Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
