I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I believe in your delicious
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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