He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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