Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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