i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
