my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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