I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
