i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
