Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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