I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
