what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
