A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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