I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
