What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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