My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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