Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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