He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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