Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
