Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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