lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize