I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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