gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize