Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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