yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize