My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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