he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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