Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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