I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize