Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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