Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
