They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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