how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You left your phone here
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