Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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