It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just gift wrapped bread.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
