Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
