the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize