youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
