Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
