I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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