It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
