Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
