Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize