MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
