This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize