I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was like giving head to a cactus.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
