oh god the rape fog is back!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
