sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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