She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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