my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
