Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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