Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
