i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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