Your dad touched me again.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
