I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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