I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
