I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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