bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
