careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
